Hello everyone, thank you for reading. Well, it's been a good week, no bad news, no real pain, if anything just exhaustion. My first Chemo session has come and gone and I feel good. I wasn't nervous or scared leading up to it, more anxious if anything. I just wanted to get the ball rolling. I wanted to see how the drugs would affect me and my daily lifestyle. I've got an active two year old, a daughter arriving in 7 days, plus it's very important to us that I work as much as possible. Being in a commission position, continuing to work is critical, for money, for momentum, and for sanity). If I was in a salary position, I would've probably taken the easy road and would've checked out last week, "saying, it's been real, see you in six month." Anyway, so far so good....
We met with Dr. Yee and it was a good conversation. It was the first time we had chatted since he left the results of the PET/CT Scan and the Bone Marrow Biopsy on my voice message. He was happy that we were going away from the aggressive Chemo treatment regimen. He confirmed that even though my two test results were good, I'm still in Stage 2. Stage 2 simply because the cancer is in at least two lymph nodes. He felt around and may have felt a small one on the other side of my neck that we hadn't discussed yet. He didn't seem concerned.
The regimen that I'm on is called ABVD: Adriamycin, Bleomycin, Vinblastine, and Dacarbazine. All of these are severely toxic and could destroy many parts of my body including my liver, lungs, and heart if not administered correctly. But that's why Dr. Yee gets paid the big bucks....he figures out the levels of which I can handle and then toes the line (uhhh hello, scary). This way the drugs do their job without killing me. These drugs will kill both cancer cells and good cells. Think of it as just zapping my system of everything....pushing the reset button, so to speak :) For those interested, here's a better description of the ABVD: http://www.lymphomainfo.net/therapy/chemotherapy/abvd.html
Thursday (7/29/10) was my first Chemo session. They weighed me again, 200.5 lbs. To use an Ultimate Fighting Championship term (UFC), I usually walk around between 207 and 215, so I've obviously lost weight. Moving on to the treatment room, there were about 10 comfortable reclining chairs for patients. Surprisingly their were 6 patients receiving some form of treatment at the same time. I seem to be the only one under 70....Pinochle anyone? Meg and I found a spot where we could each get an adjoining comfy chair and they began to hook me up. They first hooked me up to saline that would run constantly throughout the process. Then they pumped two different bags of anti-nausea medicine in me. Then, over the next two hours, they put the ABVD in me. Two by hand, pumping them into the IV for safety reasons. The final two were administered by regular IV drip. The doctor also gave me two different prescriptions for anti-nausea and anxiety (drowsiness as well). Man, they don't mess around with this nausea stuff.....
Earlier in the day, Meg had severely thrown out her back. This was the second time she's done it this pregnancy, but it's been a while. This one was way worse. She was in so much pain.....it was so hard to watch. I tried to tell her not to come to the treatment, but she wouldn't have any of it. She could barely walk, but wanted to be right by my side. No one could ask for a greater more loving wife, I consider myself lucky. Later that night, Meg's back got worse and we had to shut down her participation in Kenzie's shower that she was planning on going to.....She was crushed. I'm not sure if she was more upset at the back pain or the late cancellation to the shower with her family.
My parents came over along with my brother. My mom continued on to the shower like a trooper, while my dad took Riley head on. My brother just kept me company. Overall I felt good. At one point, I started to feel a little uneasy, but quickly took one of my pills and it worked perfectly and quickly. It was great having my family there.
The next day, Friday, I felt good enough to go into work for 5 hours and it worked out well. By the time I got home, I was pretty tired and took my first nap in 10 years. Hey, the doc said I'd be tired.....
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
The Power Of Prayer....It's Real!
I first want to give a big thank you for all the emails and prayers and all the family support we received over the last 8 days, it really helps. Also, a very special thank you to Adsideo (our church) who delivered us a wonderfully cooked meal for tonight and for tomorrow night, it was absolutely perfect. It's crazy how difficult basic chores become when I have cancer, Meg is expecting in 10 days and our 2 year old is experiencing freedom and real communication for the first time.
So, after 8 days of craziness, we finally received some good, no, make that great news late this afternoon. Today I had my PET / CT Scan around 12pm. It's non-invasive and was more boring than anything. The process took about a 1.5 hours and an 1 hour of that was sitting in a recliner allowing the radioactive tracer isotope that was pumped into my body to move through my system. That was boring, in fact I specifically pulled out my Iphone and asked if I could keep this.....she said no. WHAT? Does she know what decade it is.....come on. Well, I wasn't allowed anything and I'm not really a guy who can sit in a chair for an hour and do nothing with no communication. After the hour I went into an MRI like machine (only smaller and not as claustrophobic) for 20 minutes. Then we left for the day.
However at 4:45 this afternoon Dr. Yee called and said he not only had the PET / CT results in but that the Bone Marrow Biopsy performed on Friday night was also in a day early. I know, I know....get to it. Dr. Yee confirmed that the cancer has not spread beyond my left shoulder, it's not in my lower abdomen or on my right shoulder, and it's not in my Bone Marrow. Therefore, he is gearing down a bit, and taking me off the aggressive Chemo plan and onto a more manageable Chemo plan. Starting this Thursday, I will have 1 Chemo session every 14 days. So basically every other Thursday.
I still have cancer, and I always felt it was beatable, but now I'm very confident that I can take this cancer. It's also great news for our family, it definitely relieved a little of the anxiety Meg was understandably experiencing. I literally thought she was going to pass out when I told her. In a time of sadness, it's amazing what good news can do for a family.
Thanks for reading,
Steve
So, after 8 days of craziness, we finally received some good, no, make that great news late this afternoon. Today I had my PET / CT Scan around 12pm. It's non-invasive and was more boring than anything. The process took about a 1.5 hours and an 1 hour of that was sitting in a recliner allowing the radioactive tracer isotope that was pumped into my body to move through my system. That was boring, in fact I specifically pulled out my Iphone and asked if I could keep this.....she said no. WHAT? Does she know what decade it is.....come on. Well, I wasn't allowed anything and I'm not really a guy who can sit in a chair for an hour and do nothing with no communication. After the hour I went into an MRI like machine (only smaller and not as claustrophobic) for 20 minutes. Then we left for the day.
However at 4:45 this afternoon Dr. Yee called and said he not only had the PET / CT results in but that the Bone Marrow Biopsy performed on Friday night was also in a day early. I know, I know....get to it. Dr. Yee confirmed that the cancer has not spread beyond my left shoulder, it's not in my lower abdomen or on my right shoulder, and it's not in my Bone Marrow. Therefore, he is gearing down a bit, and taking me off the aggressive Chemo plan and onto a more manageable Chemo plan. Starting this Thursday, I will have 1 Chemo session every 14 days. So basically every other Thursday.
I still have cancer, and I always felt it was beatable, but now I'm very confident that I can take this cancer. It's also great news for our family, it definitely relieved a little of the anxiety Meg was understandably experiencing. I literally thought she was going to pass out when I told her. In a time of sadness, it's amazing what good news can do for a family.
Thanks for reading,
Steve
Saturday, July 24, 2010
"Lump" In The Road
Hello everyone. Most of you know by now that I have cancer. I've been diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma and fortunately for me it has a 90% cure rate. I've decided to follow the lead of a very good friend of mine by blogging my progress. This blog is so that people that I care about, who might not be able to connect with me on a daily basis, can follow the progress of my long and difficult battle. I will most likely be updating this blog weekly. Well, lets bring you up to speed....(this first entry will be much longer than most).
Last Sunday (7/18/10), while showering, I found a lump in my armpit. I immediately knew that it was not normal, as it was the size of half a baseball. It didn't hurt and it wasn't hard. I called Meg in to look at it and we decided to monitor and call the doctor Monday. I called the doctor first thing Monday morning and they were very flexible in scheduling me right away at 10:30 that morning. My doctor didn't really know what it was, other than to say that it was a mass and that I have lymph nodes in that area. He didn't show too much concern to me, but he wanted me to get an MRI that afternoon. I've never had an MRI and I gotta say, it was interesting. An MRI is not for claustrophobic. I was strapped down, unable to move, it was louder than a jack hammer next to my ears, and it took a half hour. They did put large headphones on me and I got to enjoy sports radio. Actually it wasn't that bad, I dosed off a few times.
That night we missed 3 calls from my family doctor, and he even called Meg's work number. The next morning we finally connected with the doctor and he told me that the MRI showed that the mass had spread and was now up near my clavicle. I immediately put my hand up on my collar bone and felt the bump. This one was a little flatter and harder, but I could feel it and it had already become visible. He wanted me to get a biopsy immediately, which we scheduled that day at 2pm. What he didn't tell me, is that he had called his Oncologist friend, the specialist that he would later refer me to, and they discussed the MRI. He still didn't really tell me much about what it was or what it could be.
Meg went with me to the biopsy and I think we were both a little nervous. Unfortunately they didn't allow Meg back there with me. There were four hospital people in the room with me: A nurse, a techi to run the ultrasound, the doctor, and a Pathologist. Via the ultrasound, they found the mass they would sample from and then the doctor eventually took 7 needle samples from under my armpit. The first four were for a "fine needle aspiration biopsy", and that was fairly painless. The last three were part of a "core biopsy." It was at this point he asked me if I knew why I was here? I told him all I knew was that I had a mass. He told me that he studied my MRI and after looking at the samples, he was almost certain that it was Lymphoma and that given my age, most likely Hodgkin Lymphoma. Those terms didn't mean a whole lot to me....he didn't mention the "C" word and I wasn't really up to speed on my disease terms. I knew it wasn't good, but I never really put two and two together. Maybe I was just too nervous. He then said some words that I'll never forget for the rest of my life: "I'm really sorry you had to find out like this." With those words I knew I was in trouble. I still didn't probe, I just let him prep for the Core Biopsy. The needle was much bigger, but actually the first two were fairly painless, but the third and final sample hurt pretty bad, bad enough that I actually said the words, "wow, that one hurt." To date, it's the most painful part of the week. The pain only lasted 3 seconds, but it still hurt. He told me the results would be available in two days, they cleaned me up and I was out.
I grabbed Meg and we headed for the car. I told her what they said and I think we may have guessed cancer at that point, can't remember. Anyway, we got in the car, pulled out my iphone, googled Hodgkin Lymphoma......and quickly found out that I indeed had Cancer. We also kept reading the wikidpedia definition and found out about it's high curable rate. This moment was pretty unexplainable. Shock, disbelief and sadness were overwhelming us. At this moment I was very glad that my wife was there with me. We chatted for about a minute, then started the car, and drove to the other side of the hospital where Meg had her Kenzie appointment. At this point I was starting to tear up and was thinking about staying in the car while Meg met with her OBGYN. I changed my mind and went in with her. Sitting in the waiting room having just found out I have cancer was a little surreal. I almost started tearing up a couple of times, so I tried to think of other things. It was hard. There were others in the room and it made it difficult to show emotions. After about 15 minutes, Meg came back out an we started our long trek home. My parents had come over to our house to watch Riley (who was home sick that day) and they were waiting nervously to hear what was going on. I made it about 3 exits on I-5 before I completely broke down. I quickly took the next exit, found a spot and pulled into a parking lot and just cried for 20 minutes. I just couldn't hold it back at that point. I had so many thoughts running through my head. I was thinking about Meg, I was thinking about Riley and soon to be born Kenzie, I was thinking about how difficult it's going to be to walk into our house and tell my parents I have cancer, I was thinking about how heck I'm going to tell my brother....man, all these thoughts! Meg drove home from there as I continued to struggle. Luckily my parents and Riley were inside because had they been outside when we got home, I'm not sure I could've gotten out of the car. I walked in the house tried to make it to the living room, but my legs wouldn't walk anymore. I kneeled down and started to cry as my mom walked around the corner and I mentioned the word cancer and just hugged her and started crying harder. My dad came around and we hugged. Riley came running while yelling daddy daddy, happy as can be....I just grabbed him, gave him a big hug and told him I loved him. He really just wanted to go outside at that point :) That was hardest part of the whole week. Yeah, I've cried and I've broke down a number of times after that, but telling your mom and dad that you have cancer at that age of 34.....I wish that on nobody. My brother had been calling a couple of times since the appointment had started, but I couldn't grab the strength to call him, and so I had Meg call and break the news. My parents stuck around for an hour or two, my aunt Holly lovingly stopped by to see me, which was nice. My brother came over with Gavin later that night, which was great. It wasn't difficult seeing my brother, probably tougher for him. I've noticed, that telling people for the first time verbally or in person, is the hardest thing I've had to do. But once they already know, that cat's out of the bag, it's not hard at all. So Eric and I just chatted away for an hour or two.
The next night, Meg and I got a call from my family doctor and he said that the preliminary report was in and I indeed had Lymphoma, but the report from the Core Biopsy was not in and that would determine whether or not it was Hodgkin's. But, the preliminary report clearly stated that they are fairly certain given my age that it will be Hodgkin's. This just confirmed what we already knew, so this news didn't shake me at all. No news on Thursday, but on Friday I received a call from the specialist's office (the Oncologist) and they had received the final report from my family doctors office and were ready to have me come in for a consultation.
Friday afternoon we met with Dr. Yee, who is associated with OHSU. He didn't beat around the bush, gave it to me straight and wanted to get a plan going right away. He had a pretty good idea of what stage I was in, but of course needed further testing to confirm. My symptoms were few, but the bumps (now a 3rd one on my neck) and the rate at which they are growing is slightly alarming to him. He believes that I'm currently in "bulky stage 2." The next step to confirm the stage I'm in, thus determining my treatment plan, is a PET scan and Bone Marrow Biopsy. We did the Bone Marrow Biopsy right then and there. This made me nervous because I had heard years ago that drawing bone marrow was very painful. I asked Dr. Yee if it would be painful and he said "yes!"......Great, lets do it :) They shot me up with Morphine and used Litocaine to numb the skin and bone surface. Meg was in the room, which was nice. I was laying on my stomach and they got started and it was interesting to say the least. Dr. Yee literally stuck a needle in my hip bone, breaking through the bone and drew out the marrow....which was a little painful, but only last 10 seconds. The next phase was taking a core sample of the bone. This is where they use a needle the size of a small tree, and I think maybe go in the bone horizontally, because the sample was over a half inch long. Imagine taking a post hole digger, going into the hole and coming up with dirt. Only this was the part of the bone slightly under the hard surface of the bone, the spongy part, I think. This took two different attempts because it's a fairly violent procedure and it's hard to get the core sample to stay in the needle when taking the needle out. The doctor was putting so much pressure on my back that I could feel my stomach and mid section going through the cushioned table I was on. It felt like he was hammering on the needle and once he felt he had the core sample he had to jiggle the needle back and forth creating a "earthquake" inside my body, literally wrenching on my body trying to get this tree like needle out of my hip bone and out of my body.....all while trying to keep the core sample in the needle. It was crazy to say the least. He joked about having done this procedure so many times that his right arm is ten times stronger than his left. The Bone Marrow Biopsy results are due on Tuesday and the PET Scan is scheduled for Monday and these results might be immediate. Unless they come back with better results than expected, the doctor plans an aggressive Chemotherapy treatment.
Ok, so on to the treatment....Chemotherapy. So with an aggressive chemo plan I will be scheduled to have it this Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Then Once the following week and off for 10 days. These are administered in a three week cycle. So after the 10 day rest I will begin again with three treatments in a row and so on. Dr. Yee has prepared us that this will be a six month process. The aggressive approach has it's risks. I have a higher chance of infection, due to a weaker immune system, and this can be deadly. It's a 5% chance of infection vs a 1% chance of infection should we take the less aggressive Chemo route of once every other week. I'm not too worried, 5% is still pretty low.
Well there you go. This has been my life over the last seven days. A roller coaster ride to say the least. Talk to ya next week.
Last Sunday (7/18/10), while showering, I found a lump in my armpit. I immediately knew that it was not normal, as it was the size of half a baseball. It didn't hurt and it wasn't hard. I called Meg in to look at it and we decided to monitor and call the doctor Monday. I called the doctor first thing Monday morning and they were very flexible in scheduling me right away at 10:30 that morning. My doctor didn't really know what it was, other than to say that it was a mass and that I have lymph nodes in that area. He didn't show too much concern to me, but he wanted me to get an MRI that afternoon. I've never had an MRI and I gotta say, it was interesting. An MRI is not for claustrophobic. I was strapped down, unable to move, it was louder than a jack hammer next to my ears, and it took a half hour. They did put large headphones on me and I got to enjoy sports radio. Actually it wasn't that bad, I dosed off a few times.
That night we missed 3 calls from my family doctor, and he even called Meg's work number. The next morning we finally connected with the doctor and he told me that the MRI showed that the mass had spread and was now up near my clavicle. I immediately put my hand up on my collar bone and felt the bump. This one was a little flatter and harder, but I could feel it and it had already become visible. He wanted me to get a biopsy immediately, which we scheduled that day at 2pm. What he didn't tell me, is that he had called his Oncologist friend, the specialist that he would later refer me to, and they discussed the MRI. He still didn't really tell me much about what it was or what it could be.
Meg went with me to the biopsy and I think we were both a little nervous. Unfortunately they didn't allow Meg back there with me. There were four hospital people in the room with me: A nurse, a techi to run the ultrasound, the doctor, and a Pathologist. Via the ultrasound, they found the mass they would sample from and then the doctor eventually took 7 needle samples from under my armpit. The first four were for a "fine needle aspiration biopsy", and that was fairly painless. The last three were part of a "core biopsy." It was at this point he asked me if I knew why I was here? I told him all I knew was that I had a mass. He told me that he studied my MRI and after looking at the samples, he was almost certain that it was Lymphoma and that given my age, most likely Hodgkin Lymphoma. Those terms didn't mean a whole lot to me....he didn't mention the "C" word and I wasn't really up to speed on my disease terms. I knew it wasn't good, but I never really put two and two together. Maybe I was just too nervous. He then said some words that I'll never forget for the rest of my life: "I'm really sorry you had to find out like this." With those words I knew I was in trouble. I still didn't probe, I just let him prep for the Core Biopsy. The needle was much bigger, but actually the first two were fairly painless, but the third and final sample hurt pretty bad, bad enough that I actually said the words, "wow, that one hurt." To date, it's the most painful part of the week. The pain only lasted 3 seconds, but it still hurt. He told me the results would be available in two days, they cleaned me up and I was out.
I grabbed Meg and we headed for the car. I told her what they said and I think we may have guessed cancer at that point, can't remember. Anyway, we got in the car, pulled out my iphone, googled Hodgkin Lymphoma......and quickly found out that I indeed had Cancer. We also kept reading the wikidpedia definition and found out about it's high curable rate. This moment was pretty unexplainable. Shock, disbelief and sadness were overwhelming us. At this moment I was very glad that my wife was there with me. We chatted for about a minute, then started the car, and drove to the other side of the hospital where Meg had her Kenzie appointment. At this point I was starting to tear up and was thinking about staying in the car while Meg met with her OBGYN. I changed my mind and went in with her. Sitting in the waiting room having just found out I have cancer was a little surreal. I almost started tearing up a couple of times, so I tried to think of other things. It was hard. There were others in the room and it made it difficult to show emotions. After about 15 minutes, Meg came back out an we started our long trek home. My parents had come over to our house to watch Riley (who was home sick that day) and they were waiting nervously to hear what was going on. I made it about 3 exits on I-5 before I completely broke down. I quickly took the next exit, found a spot and pulled into a parking lot and just cried for 20 minutes. I just couldn't hold it back at that point. I had so many thoughts running through my head. I was thinking about Meg, I was thinking about Riley and soon to be born Kenzie, I was thinking about how difficult it's going to be to walk into our house and tell my parents I have cancer, I was thinking about how heck I'm going to tell my brother....man, all these thoughts! Meg drove home from there as I continued to struggle. Luckily my parents and Riley were inside because had they been outside when we got home, I'm not sure I could've gotten out of the car. I walked in the house tried to make it to the living room, but my legs wouldn't walk anymore. I kneeled down and started to cry as my mom walked around the corner and I mentioned the word cancer and just hugged her and started crying harder. My dad came around and we hugged. Riley came running while yelling daddy daddy, happy as can be....I just grabbed him, gave him a big hug and told him I loved him. He really just wanted to go outside at that point :) That was hardest part of the whole week. Yeah, I've cried and I've broke down a number of times after that, but telling your mom and dad that you have cancer at that age of 34.....I wish that on nobody. My brother had been calling a couple of times since the appointment had started, but I couldn't grab the strength to call him, and so I had Meg call and break the news. My parents stuck around for an hour or two, my aunt Holly lovingly stopped by to see me, which was nice. My brother came over with Gavin later that night, which was great. It wasn't difficult seeing my brother, probably tougher for him. I've noticed, that telling people for the first time verbally or in person, is the hardest thing I've had to do. But once they already know, that cat's out of the bag, it's not hard at all. So Eric and I just chatted away for an hour or two.
The next night, Meg and I got a call from my family doctor and he said that the preliminary report was in and I indeed had Lymphoma, but the report from the Core Biopsy was not in and that would determine whether or not it was Hodgkin's. But, the preliminary report clearly stated that they are fairly certain given my age that it will be Hodgkin's. This just confirmed what we already knew, so this news didn't shake me at all. No news on Thursday, but on Friday I received a call from the specialist's office (the Oncologist) and they had received the final report from my family doctors office and were ready to have me come in for a consultation.
Friday afternoon we met with Dr. Yee, who is associated with OHSU. He didn't beat around the bush, gave it to me straight and wanted to get a plan going right away. He had a pretty good idea of what stage I was in, but of course needed further testing to confirm. My symptoms were few, but the bumps (now a 3rd one on my neck) and the rate at which they are growing is slightly alarming to him. He believes that I'm currently in "bulky stage 2." The next step to confirm the stage I'm in, thus determining my treatment plan, is a PET scan and Bone Marrow Biopsy. We did the Bone Marrow Biopsy right then and there. This made me nervous because I had heard years ago that drawing bone marrow was very painful. I asked Dr. Yee if it would be painful and he said "yes!"......Great, lets do it :) They shot me up with Morphine and used Litocaine to numb the skin and bone surface. Meg was in the room, which was nice. I was laying on my stomach and they got started and it was interesting to say the least. Dr. Yee literally stuck a needle in my hip bone, breaking through the bone and drew out the marrow....which was a little painful, but only last 10 seconds. The next phase was taking a core sample of the bone. This is where they use a needle the size of a small tree, and I think maybe go in the bone horizontally, because the sample was over a half inch long. Imagine taking a post hole digger, going into the hole and coming up with dirt. Only this was the part of the bone slightly under the hard surface of the bone, the spongy part, I think. This took two different attempts because it's a fairly violent procedure and it's hard to get the core sample to stay in the needle when taking the needle out. The doctor was putting so much pressure on my back that I could feel my stomach and mid section going through the cushioned table I was on. It felt like he was hammering on the needle and once he felt he had the core sample he had to jiggle the needle back and forth creating a "earthquake" inside my body, literally wrenching on my body trying to get this tree like needle out of my hip bone and out of my body.....all while trying to keep the core sample in the needle. It was crazy to say the least. He joked about having done this procedure so many times that his right arm is ten times stronger than his left. The Bone Marrow Biopsy results are due on Tuesday and the PET Scan is scheduled for Monday and these results might be immediate. Unless they come back with better results than expected, the doctor plans an aggressive Chemotherapy treatment.
Ok, so on to the treatment....Chemotherapy. So with an aggressive chemo plan I will be scheduled to have it this Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Then Once the following week and off for 10 days. These are administered in a three week cycle. So after the 10 day rest I will begin again with three treatments in a row and so on. Dr. Yee has prepared us that this will be a six month process. The aggressive approach has it's risks. I have a higher chance of infection, due to a weaker immune system, and this can be deadly. It's a 5% chance of infection vs a 1% chance of infection should we take the less aggressive Chemo route of once every other week. I'm not too worried, 5% is still pretty low.
Well there you go. This has been my life over the last seven days. A roller coaster ride to say the least. Talk to ya next week.
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