Good News

Hey everyone, thanks for reading. It's been a good couple of weeks. First, last Monday Meg and I had my consultation with the Radiologist and the process was better than expected. Starting the week of December 6th I start receiving daily doses of radiation for 2.5 weeks (weekends off). I should be done before Christmas.....nice. Additionally, because it's a shorter time table the side affects will be limited. Tiredness (I've only been tired for the last 2.5 years, so no biggie there), and I may get a sore throat that may last a couple of weeks after the last dose of radiation. I expected the sore throat part to be much more harsh, but because I'm only getting treatment for 2.5 weeks, the throat doesn't get too damaged. Lucky again. So today I go back in for a few hours and get tested (CT Scan), get some small tattoos so they know where to zap me each time, and get a body mold done so that I'm in the same position every time.

The second piece of good news came last week as well. Last Tuesday I went in for my PET Scan....this is the big one! The PET Scan tells me if the Chemo worked. For those who don't know....For a PET Scan, via an IV, I get a radio active trace put in me (nuclear something or other). I then sit in a dark and quiet room for 1 hour while it moves throughout my body. Then I get in the MRI-like machine for 25 minutes. That's it...no pain or anything like that....just boring. On Wednesday Dr. Yee called with the results....no abnormal tracer uptake, no abnormal metabolic activity.....in other words, the PET Scan was GOOD and I don't need anymore Chemo. Phew....I made it....YESSSSSS! There was a little scar tissue where the Lymphoma was, but that was almost expected and doesn't mean much.

So, even though my PET Scan was clear and the Lymphoma is gone, it's still highly recommended that I go through Radiation (and I will), as it can still raise the overall survival rate. Just to recap from an earlier post, in my situation, Radiation can help about 1 in 10 people, but they don't know who the "1" person will be.....so they recommend that everyone gets radiation (in my situation).

So from here I receive the radiation treatment, probably get another CT Scan when they're done. Then I'll basically see Dr. Yee every 3 months, doing a new PET Scan every other visit with Dr. Yee. I'll do that for a year, then it will gradually slow down.

Lyric Of The Day: "Life is beautiful, but it's complicated and we barely make it.....we don't need to understand, there are miracles.....miracles." (Vega 4, Life Is Beautiful)

That's it for now....I'll chat more during the Radiation.

Cheers

I made it!

Well, I'm all done. Last Friday I had my final Chemo session. It's been 3 1/2 months since I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkin Lymphoma and though I'm not done with treatment, I feel as if I've made it over a major hurdle. I had 8 Chemo sessions, each one being worse than the previous, and overall, I'm very pleased with the way my body/immune system handled the bi-weekly poison. From the personal stories I've heard to the articles I've read online, I think I'm very fortunate to have not missed a day of work, to have not lost my hair, to have been a fully functioning father/husband as Meg and I brought Kenzie into this world. I really can't be happier with how things have gone so far.

Lyric Of The Day: "May the best of your today's, be the worst of your tomorrows" Jay-Z, Forever Young

This last session was the worst one yet. My mom was there to keep my company. It was really great that she was there, we played cribbage (which she won both times...dang it) and we played original Trivial Pursuit, which was interesting playing a game with questions from the 70s and 80s. It really is nice to have someone there to chat with as I mentally battle for 3 hours. I was nauseous most of the time there and there was a couple of moments where I thought I was going to throw up in the my seat. But, I dug deep and was able to hold it in. The final IV drug usually lasts 1 hour, but unfortunately, this time it accidentally got stuck on slow....and after an hour, the RN came over and realized the mistake and got it back on track. She was very apologetic as it did cost me extra 1/2 hour......are you kidding me? what are the chances?....this must have been a final test :) Mentally that was very challenging as I've had a difficult time counting down the minutes each session. It really sucked to add a half hour on at the end. After a tough 30 minute ride home, I walked directly into the bathroom and threw up. Darn! I nearly made it all the way through 3 months of chemo without tossing the cookies, only to lose it when I'm all done and in my own home. Oh well, better in my own bathroom then at the doctors office. I'm still very pleased with how everything went. The rest of the night was fairly rough and I just spent most of the night alone watching TV in bed. My mom stayed and made an amazing dinner for Meg and the kids. The last few days have gradually gotten better as these drugs work their magic and work their way out of my system. I'm done.....wooohooo!

Up next, a PET Scan in about 3 weeks, followed by a visit with Dr. Yee to analyze the scan. From there I'll be referred to a Radiologist where I will do 3 to 5 weeks of daily radiation. A few things were cleared up during this last visit with Dr. Yee. He's going to recommend Radiation regardless of what the PET Scan says. Radiation helps 1 in 10 patients who goes through it. The problem is, they don't know which 10% is affected by the radiation. The science is not there to tell them who will be helped or which specific traits or factors in a person will work well with the radiation. So....it's a guess. It's still my choice, and to me it's a no brainer. Ten percent is a big number and if I can increase the curability figures even a little...I'll do it. Dr. Yee is not a Radiologist so he can only speculate on the length of the treatment and how I'll respond to it. Tiredness, skin burns, throat swelling, and nausea are all potential side effects of radiation. Having said that, I don't think it's going to be as bad as the Chemo....so bring it on.

That's it for now, special thanks to the Lord for getting me through this....

Steve

The Best Of What's Around

Hello everyone, not much has changed/happened since my last post, but I'm trying to blog more than I have been. I've had a couple of small bouts of nausea and a couple of rough nights of sleeps (anxiety I guess). I've also had a couple of annoying itchy spots pop up on my legs.

Tomorrow I'm a week away from my last Chemo session....YESSSSSS

In keeping up with my newly formed lyric of the week idea....

"Turns out, not where but who you're with that really matters, that really matters!"

Dave Matthews Band (The Best Of What's Around)

I was listening to music while making dinner last night and this song came on. It's a good song, one of my fav's, but this particular line means a lot to me. For 2+ months now, I've been going to Chemo session getting poison injected into my body, which petty much sucks if you think about it. But it hasn't been as bad as it really could've been, because I've had the people I care about most with me. I've been fortunate enough to have 5 of the most important people in my life, wait in line to come hang out with me week after week. So, thank you to my beautiful wife Megan, my bro Eric, my mom & dad Nancy & Jeff, and my very good friend Brian. It would've been a lot worse without you guys...

Thanks,

This Chemo Stuff Sucks, But Only One More To Go

Hey everyone, thanks for reading. It's been a while since I've posted, basically just been lazy (sorry). I've decided to incorporate into my blog one of my favorite things to do in life. Music! I'll post one lyric that grabbed me throughout the week. No explanation needed, they should be pretty self explanatory lyrics:

"Well I Won't Back Down, No I Won't Back Down, You Can Stand Me Up At The Gates Of Hell, And I Won't Back Down"

Tom Petty

Two days ago I had my 2nd Chemo session since my last blog. Both of them have taken their toll on me. I'm getting pretty nauseous during the treatments and well into the nights as well. It pretty much sucks and I'm out of commission for that evening. Thankfully, we've had either my mom or Meg's mom here to help with with dinners and taking care of the kids. It's been great, thanks Moms. The Saturday's that follow are not great either, but much better than the Chemo days.

Because the Chemo days are getting worse, I'm starting to think about them or dread them more as they approach. The nausea sets in pretty quick once the nurses get started. One of the anti-nausea drugs has a weird smell and taste to it that doesn't sit very well with me. From there it just gradually gets worse until the end of the 2hrs and 30 minutes....where I'm internally begging them to pull these IV's out of me so I can run to the door for fresh air. Of course once they take everything out, I'm actually just walking, smiling, saying thank you to all the nurses who helped me out, before I reach the door and take deep breath. My brother sat with me this week and he was gracious enough to pick me up at home and more importantly drive me home afterwards. That was nice, because two weeks ago I forgot to set that plan up with my dad, and not only did I have to drive myself home, but I had to go pick Riley up at daycare. It sucked, but I put on a big smile for Riley. When I get home, I usually go straight up to bed and just chill all night, coming down a few times for water and maybe a bite to eat or something. I'm also popping two different anti-nausea pills throughout the night. This last time I slept pretty good and woke up feeling better. I chilled most of the day yesterday, but we did have a birthday party to go to at my Brother and Kara's house....I made it through pretty good actually. I managed to put down a small dinner, but then eventually got too tired and it was time to leave. As of right now, Sunday morning, I'm feeling pretty good :)

I did find out something interesting two weeks ago. Since the beginning of the Chemo sessions I've had some itchiness that's kind of been uncontrollable. Early on, I briefly mentioned it to my doctor, but he didn't think much of it, because the Chemo is supposed to zap everything in my immune system, and therefore nothing should get through. I was thinking mosquito bites or spider bites or something. It started to grow up my legs a little bit and then I started getting a lot of spots on my torso. Some more itchy then others. Eventually, I got a dollar bill sized spot on my right thigh that I couldn't stop itching. It was also starting to grow outward....kind of bumpy. Anyway, two weeks ago I finally showed my doctor some of the spots and he concluded that I was allergic to one of Chemo drugs...Great, I'm allergic to one of the drugs trying to save my life :) Actually, the doctor wasn't too worried about it, he just told me to use some Cortizone and that should do it. It was pretty itchy there for a few days, but I think the Cortizone did it's job pretty well. I had uncontrollable spots on both shins, my left knee, my right thigh, my left hand, my upper left arm, both shoulder blades, and my left neck......UGH!

Well I've completed 7 Chemo sessions and I've only got one more left....YESSSS. Then a small break and then the all important PET Scan. The PET Scan will shows what, if any part of the cancer is left. This will also determine if and how much Radiation I'll need.

Wells that it's for now.....Have a good week everyone and thanks for reading.

Steve

Ohhhh No.....My Hair!!!!

Well, it finally happened.....the Chemo has taken my hair. I'm devastated :( My most manly possession has been stolen from me. After 34 years of nurturing, caressing, praying, and being made fun of, the cancer has finally taken my one and only CHEST hair. What, did you think I was talking about the hair on my head? Oh, I still have most of that, and I don't really care about that anyway. Although it has continued to thin, as it has for the past few weeks. The doc was a tad perplexed as to why I still have all my hair. Usually through Chemo, you lose your hair in the first 2-3 weeks. I did have pretty thick hair. Which brings up another question: If I have such thick hair on my head....then why only 1 chest hair....I don't get it. Oh well, my wife likes it :)

I had my 5th of 8 Chemo sessions on Friday. Three more to go. My mother joined me and that was really cool. We chatted and played Cribbage the whole time. She won two out of three games...she had so many monster hands, we were both laughing by the end. But mom....haven't you ever heard of the phrase "let the cancer patient win." I guess not....just kidding, she won fair and square.

Last night after the Chemo session, I experienced a full night of nausea. I could feel it coming on during the treatment, but it got worse and constant all night. It pretty much sucked. But I woke up this morning and I've felt fine all day.

I did have a consultation with my doc this time, which was good because I developed a pretty good cough over the last two weeks. It's been a little scary in our house lately, as all four of us had colds at the same time and Meg and I are still battling. On Tuesday we took Meg to the urgent care facility and she was diagnosed with Pneumonia....for the second time this year....UGH! That sucks in itself, but I also have a bad cough and Pneumonia is not something I can get with my depleted immune system. When I originally called my doc last week and told him about my cough, he prescribed me a cough suppressant....it just kind of numbs the throat. I called him again after Meg was diagnosed and he put me on the same antibiotic that Meg is on (Azithromycin). I don't think I actually have Pneumonia, because I'm not as bad as Meg is, plus I don't have a fever or a cold. But just in case, I wanted the doc to know and I'm glad he prescribed me a pill. I feel bad for Meg, as she's definitely taken the brunt of this household cold. It's really depressing to be sick for so long, but even more so when you get Pneumonia.

During the consultation, my mom and I peppered Dr. Yee with questions, not only about the cough, but also about the upcoming PET Scan and transition into radiation. The doc said I'll get a little time off between my 8th and finally Chemo treatment and the PET Scan, which is nice. Then after review they'll determine if I need the radiation at all and how much/long. For the first time I asked the doc about the radiation process and I was a little surprised about the side affects. I was only under the impression that I would experience a little tiredness, but that's about it. He said it's kind of hit and miss, it affects everyone differently (similar to my Chemo treatment), but I could experience some skin burning, and because the cancer is around my upper torso area (neck), my throat could swell up, resulting in liquid foods for a while. This could last for up to 6 months, although the radiation may only last 3 weeks (daily). But, he also suggested that if the cancer is gone, I may not need radiation at all. But then added one more caveat: whether or not I need it, if I do it, it could add 10% on to my survival rate. Well that's a no brainer to me. I can brave anything for 2-6 more months, if it saves my life. Like my mom said, that's the difference between 2-10 dying and 1-10 dying (Chemo and radiation could push the survival rate to 90%). I'll take the radiation and the 6 months of milkshakes please....

This weeks shout out goes to my Mom and Dad. When they found out that Meg had Pneumonia, and that I might have it, they quickly offered to take work off (my dad's retired) and come take care of us for two full days and nights. We continued to take Riley to day care, so that we could actually relax a little during the day. But they were awesome...my mom made chicken noodle soup scratch, homemade lasagna, and a nice corned beef and cabbage dinner. All of which were very good and there were tons of leftovers. My dad mowed the front and back lawns and I helped him weed a little bit. The key part was that my mom basically took care of Kenzie both days and, which let Meg try to sleep this Pneumonia off. Plus, in support of me, my dad shaved his head down to match mine (roughly a 1/4 inch). Awesome gesture day. Thanks Mom & Dad, you guys are the best.

That's it for now, talk to ya later,

Steve

Halfway Home

Hey everyone....thanks for reading. Well, this weekend I'm officially halfway between chemo sessions 4-5, which is also the halfway point for the entire chemo therapy process...yes!!! A week ago was my 4th session and my good buddy Brian Jolly joined me (thanks dude). Unfortunately at and around this session I was pretty sick with a head cold. It's ok to be sick when you're on chemo therapy, but only if it's a head cold. If it becomes something more serious, then that's not good. Nothing viral. This is the first visit that I had where my doc and I didn't have a consultation prior to receiving chemo. But because I was sick, I did briefly talk to him and tell him what I was experiencing. At the time, I was starting to come out of the head cold and the doc thought that was pretty positive and that was pretty much it. The session went well. I switched arms to receive the IV, because my left arm had been super sore for the last week and half. I take the IV on the top side of the forearm about 3 inches up from the wrist. Well, I had taken the first three sessions all in the same spot (my left arm). The spot was always sore for the first few days, but it was really sore the entire time between sessions 3-4. The doc said it might be a possible infection, but then he found out that I had got all 3 session in the same spot, he said...duh!...swich spots...of course it's hurting. So I switched to the right arm. I currently have no soreness in either arm. Ok, so maybe I could've figured that out on my own...but hey, I'm paying the good doctor a lot of money to guide me through this process.....(oops).

That night we went over to my bro's house for Carter's birthday. I felt ok, but as the night went on I started to get a little worse. It was a combination of a little nausea and a little tiredness. There were a lot of kids running around (8-10 or so), it was loud, it was bit hot, and I really felt as if the walls were closing in on me. It was kind of like...."Meg, maybe we should go?" Then as 5 minutes would pass, it was more like...."Meg, lets get the heck out of here!" It reminded me of that scene from "As Good As It Gets" with Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, and Greg Kinnear......the scene where Jack and Helen Hunt are running for a cab on the street and there's a class of 6 years or so on the street running with them yelling exactly what Jack is yelling....finally Jack turns around and waves his hand in the air and yells..."SHUT UP KIDS!" And....that's when I knew it was time for us to leave!

I've had a couple of nausea moments since then, but the real trouble has been that my cold has come back as a bad cough. After about 5 days of this, I finally called my doctor and he immediately prescribed a drug called Benzonatate. It's comes in the form of a small rubbery ball that when dropped can catch about 3 feet of air. Earlier in the year both Meg and I caught Walking Pneumonia and this dry cough I have is eerily similar. With my depleted immune system, Pneumonia would be a bad situation for me. So I've been on the pills for about 2 full days now and I've been very good about taking one every 8 hours. I'm not messing around with this coughing business. Plus it's just really annoying.

I want to give a special and big THANK YOU to the Arnold Family, the Missoula Chapter. They stayed with us in one form or another for 3 weeks following Kenzie's birth. It was amazing, from Judy not letting anyone even change Kenzie's diaper or rock her to sleep even in the middle of the night, to Kedra cooking and cleaning at all times, to Jon mowing our lawn (and filling up the gas can), to Fred taking Riley on daily walks. Honestly it was amazing. And when they all left, and we were on our own.....it was a bit shocking and we could really see how good we had it for 3 weeks.

Well that's all of I've got. I'll try to do a better job of updating this blog this next time.

Talk to y'all later,

Steve

It's Gotta End Sometime

Wednesday I had my 3rd Chemo session. Three down and 5 to go. I also met with Dr. Yee and he was pleased with the progress and lack of symptoms. I gained 3 more pounds, which I'm not too thrilled about. I'm still below the pre-cancer weight, by a couple of pounds anyway....but I was really starting like the weight I was at a few weeks ago. The doc scared me a bit with the "I would expect you to lose 10% or 20 lbs" during the treatment. Half of that drop I would be ok with, but I think if I lost a full 20 lbs, I might look a little weird....kinda like my brother when he's training for a marathon (sorry dude, it's true). Anyway....

My brother Eric attended the Chemo session with me and it was nice. Eric, a proud member of the "Slowski's Family" has finally caught up with the rest of us and has dropped his 1990s flip phone for a smart phone. He recently got a Verizon Droid and is still in awe of what it can do. We chatted sports and basically played with his phone for a while. This passed the time nicely.

It was an early session for me this time (9:30am) and I felt great until about 5pm. That's when the nausea set in. For the first time since being diagnosed with cancer, I felt a strong symptom. My stomach was upset all evening. I tried to catch up with the anti-nausea prescription I have, but it did no good. I didn't even sniff dinner that night. I even doubled up with the pills, simultaneously taking the anti-anxiety pill, which is also a anti-nausea pill, and the two combined are supposed to knock me out (it's totally ok to take both).....it didn't really work, as I didn't fall asleep until midnight. To be honest it wasn't the worst thing in the world...no worse than the (too many to count) hangovers I had in college. I didn't have the urge to throw up, though I did worry about it. After I finally fell asleep, I woke up fine and continued feeling fine all day yesterday.

One key note: Afterwards Eric and I went to Schlotzky's Deli in Tualatin (hmmm, my fav) and I had my usual Texas Schlotzky...which is littered with jalapenos....oops, Meg reminded me when I got home that I'm supposed to stay away from spicy foods while the Chemo was still in my system (3 days following treatment). It wasn't the hottest meal in the world, but it did have jalapenos which aren't strawberries if you know what I mean. Sooooo, not sure if my nausea was from the cancer or a if was the Chemo-jalapeno combination that did me in.....either way, it was my worst night to date.....

Eric was in the consultation with Dr. Yee and asked a good post Chemo question about detecting any leftover cancer. After Chemo and prior to radiation, I will have another PET Scan to see how much cancer has been eliminated. This will also assist the doctors as to where the radiation will go. After my 3 weeks of radiation, I will see Dr. Yee every 3 months for a year. Every other appointment with Dr Yee, he will want me to me have a new PET Scan. After a year, that schedule will push out to every 4 months for a visit and every 8 months for a PET Scan.....and so on for 5 years. It might drop down to every 6 months after 2 years, but I can't remember what he said....

That's all I've got for now....I'm not sleeping tonight for some reason...it's 4:30am and the fam gets up in about 2-3 hours....That gives me a couple more hours of infomercial watching....ugh!

Steve

Let The Good "News" Roll

Hello everyone. As most of you know, Meg and I welcomed Kenzie Roe Weakland into this world. She arrived on Aug. 6th and weighed 8.4 lbs. Both Kenzie and Meg have done excellent since day one. Like Riley, she has a full head of hair, although unlike Riley, her color is more like mine (brown). She slept most of the first week (seriously like 20 hours a day, it scared me a little) but has since started enjoying a lot of awake time. Riley is doing his best to be a big brother and wants to hold her more than I expected. We've seen a little bit of jealously out him, but not too bad. We had our 2 week visit the other day and Kenzie's already back to birth weight....all is good :)

Oh yeah, I have cancer......Well, I'm halfway between Chemo sessions 2 and 3 and I'm still not feeling any side effects. Honestly, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. After the last session I took the anti-nausea pill only once and that was more of a precaution really. During our last consultation, we asked Dr. Yee was it ok that I wasn't really experiencing any of the symptoms of Chemo? He was totally cool with it (probably because my lumps have decreased significantly), but did say that as time goes on I'll probably start to feel a little worse, maybe even more tired than I already am. I guess I am feeling a little tired, but I can't make up my mind if it's the Chemo or the fact that I have a 2 week old baby. Meg's been amazing about letting me sleep as much as I can during the night....she's been a real trooper with Kenzie in the middle of the night and I can't thank her enough.....one of the millions of reason why I love her.

Also during our last consultation, Dr. Yee delivered some excellent news. A few hours before we arrived for my session, a 7 year study was released in The New England Medical Journal concluding that, early 30s Hodgkin Lymphoma patients in early stages (uhh, me, me and me) can now get by with 2-3 cycles of chemo and 3 weeks of daily radiation (2 Chemo session per cycle). Dr. Yee doesn't want to go all the way down to 2 cycles, but did drop it to 4 cycles.....cutting 4 Chemo session from my regiment. Yesssss! I'll then go into 3 weeks of radiation (it's only about 15 minutes a day, not bad at all). This means I should be wrapping up sometime around Christmas, nice. Of course I'll have all the necessary test afterwards to see if the cancer is gone. I'm really pumped about the good news. The Chemo sessions aren't bad at all, kind of long, but dropping 4 of them is really cool. Kind of amazing that the study was released the day I was there, hmmmmmm!

Big thanks to my dad for joining me for my last Chemo session. It was great to have his company...thanks Dad, love ya.

P.S. I still have my hair, but my scalp is starting to feel weird and I'm getting more and more hair on my hands when I wash my hair.....

See ya,

Steve

Boring Is Good

Hello everyone. It's been a good week. Tomorrow it will become a great week as Meg and I welcome Kenzie Roe Weakland into this world. We are both very excited to add her to our family. The last 9 months have felt more like 18 months and so we're definitely ready.

I've actually had a really good week. Honestly I've had very few side effects from my first Chemo session a week ago. I felt tired a few times and I've taken 3 or 4 naps...which is approximately 3 or 4 more than I've taken in last 10 years...The first few days after the Chemo session I took the anti-nausea pill a couple times when I felt my stomach start to fill different, but I wouldn't say I ever felt nauseous. I also took the anti-anxiety pills a few nights in a row to help me sleep....let me tell ya...it worked, I slept great. But I haven't taken any pills since probably Monday, which is cool. I've managed to go to work every day this week and I felt good about it too. Seems like back to normal, in a way. I told some friends at work, which was nice to get that off my chest.

Once again I would like to thank everyone for sending emails and cards in the mail, and leaving comments on this blog. I enjoy reading every one of those and they definitely lift me up. Another big thanks to Adsideo for providing another week of home cooked meals....what a great church and great group of people. Not having to cook dinners over the last two weeks has helped us in so many ways....Thank You! Tonight we have reinforcements arriving for probably the next 3-4 weeks as Meg's family comes in to town for Kenzie's arrival. I'm pretty pumped about seeing them and having their help and support as we deal with another life change.

Oh yeah, I had two additional tests this week. I had a Echocardiogram done to check out my heart and I also had a Pulmonary Function Test to check out my lungs. I haven't heard the results yet, but they weren't really super important right now anyway. I'll do them again in 6 months and then I think Dr. Yee will compare the results. The Echo was pretty cool. For those who don't know, it's basically just an ultrasound of my heart. It was pretty cool watching the screen while my heart pounded away. They said it was like looking through glass as they could see more clearly than they usually could. I took that as a "cool" thing. The breathing test was pretty weird. I was in a clear plastic chamber with a nose plug and tube in my mouth going through test after test for 25 minutes. The doctor was nice and good to chat with, so that made it a little easier. Overall, both test were pretty blah.....at least they weren't sticking large needles in me....for once.

That's it for now......My second Chemo session isn't for another week. I haven't lost my hair yet, but I have a feeling that's coming soon.....oh well, that doesn't really bother me.

See ya

Out With The Bad, and Out With The Good....Wait, What?

Hello everyone, thank you for reading. Well, it's been a good week, no bad news, no real pain, if anything just exhaustion. My first Chemo session has come and gone and I feel good. I wasn't nervous or scared leading up to it, more anxious if anything. I just wanted to get the ball rolling. I wanted to see how the drugs would affect me and my daily lifestyle. I've got an active two year old, a daughter arriving in 7 days, plus it's very important to us that I work as much as possible. Being in a commission position, continuing to work is critical, for money, for momentum, and for sanity). If I was in a salary position, I would've probably taken the easy road and would've checked out last week, "saying, it's been real, see you in six month." Anyway, so far so good....

We met with Dr. Yee and it was a good conversation. It was the first time we had chatted since he left the results of the PET/CT Scan and the Bone Marrow Biopsy on my voice message. He was happy that we were going away from the aggressive Chemo treatment regimen. He confirmed that even though my two test results were good, I'm still in Stage 2. Stage 2 simply because the cancer is in at least two lymph nodes. He felt around and may have felt a small one on the other side of my neck that we hadn't discussed yet. He didn't seem concerned.

The regimen that I'm on is called ABVD: Adriamycin, Bleomycin, Vinblastine, and Dacarbazine. All of these are severely toxic and could destroy many parts of my body including my liver, lungs, and heart if not administered correctly. But that's why Dr. Yee gets paid the big bucks....he figures out the levels of which I can handle and then toes the line (uhhh hello, scary). This way the drugs do their job without killing me. These drugs will kill both cancer cells and good cells. Think of it as just zapping my system of everything....pushing the reset button, so to speak :) For those interested, here's a better description of the ABVD: http://www.lymphomainfo.net/therapy/chemotherapy/abvd.html

Thursday (7/29/10) was my first Chemo session. They weighed me again, 200.5 lbs. To use an Ultimate Fighting Championship term (UFC), I usually walk around between 207 and 215, so I've obviously lost weight. Moving on to the treatment room, there were about 10 comfortable reclining chairs for patients. Surprisingly their were 6 patients receiving some form of treatment at the same time. I seem to be the only one under 70....Pinochle anyone? Meg and I found a spot where we could each get an adjoining comfy chair and they began to hook me up. They first hooked me up to saline that would run constantly throughout the process. Then they pumped two different bags of anti-nausea medicine in me. Then, over the next two hours, they put the ABVD in me. Two by hand, pumping them into the IV for safety reasons. The final two were administered by regular IV drip. The doctor also gave me two different prescriptions for anti-nausea and anxiety (drowsiness as well). Man, they don't mess around with this nausea stuff.....

Earlier in the day, Meg had severely thrown out her back. This was the second time she's done it this pregnancy, but it's been a while. This one was way worse. She was in so much pain.....it was so hard to watch. I tried to tell her not to come to the treatment, but she wouldn't have any of it. She could barely walk, but wanted to be right by my side. No one could ask for a greater more loving wife, I consider myself lucky. Later that night, Meg's back got worse and we had to shut down her participation in Kenzie's shower that she was planning on going to.....She was crushed. I'm not sure if she was more upset at the back pain or the late cancellation to the shower with her family.

My parents came over along with my brother. My mom continued on to the shower like a trooper, while my dad took Riley head on. My brother just kept me company. Overall I felt good. At one point, I started to feel a little uneasy, but quickly took one of my pills and it worked perfectly and quickly. It was great having my family there.

The next day, Friday, I felt good enough to go into work for 5 hours and it worked out well. By the time I got home, I was pretty tired and took my first nap in 10 years. Hey, the doc said I'd be tired.....

The Power Of Prayer....It's Real!

I first want to give a big thank you for all the emails and prayers and all the family support we received over the last 8 days, it really helps. Also, a very special thank you to Adsideo (our church) who delivered us a wonderfully cooked meal for tonight and for tomorrow night, it was absolutely perfect. It's crazy how difficult basic chores become when I have cancer, Meg is expecting in 10 days and our 2 year old is experiencing freedom and real communication for the first time.

So, after 8 days of craziness, we finally received some good, no, make that great news late this afternoon. Today I had my PET / CT Scan around 12pm. It's non-invasive and was more boring than anything. The process took about a 1.5 hours and an 1 hour of that was sitting in a recliner allowing the radioactive tracer isotope that was pumped into my body to move through my system. That was boring, in fact I specifically pulled out my Iphone and asked if I could keep this.....she said no. WHAT? Does she know what decade it is.....come on. Well, I wasn't allowed anything and I'm not really a guy who can sit in a chair for an hour and do nothing with no communication. After the hour I went into an MRI like machine (only smaller and not as claustrophobic) for 20 minutes. Then we left for the day.

However at 4:45 this afternoon Dr. Yee called and said he not only had the PET / CT results in but that the Bone Marrow Biopsy performed on Friday night was also in a day early. I know, I know....get to it. Dr. Yee confirmed that the cancer has not spread beyond my left shoulder, it's not in my lower abdomen or on my right shoulder, and it's not in my Bone Marrow. Therefore, he is gearing down a bit, and taking me off the aggressive Chemo plan and onto a more manageable Chemo plan. Starting this Thursday, I will have 1 Chemo session every 14 days. So basically every other Thursday.

I still have cancer, and I always felt it was beatable, but now I'm very confident that I can take this cancer. It's also great news for our family, it definitely relieved a little of the anxiety Meg was understandably experiencing. I literally thought she was going to pass out when I told her. In a time of sadness, it's amazing what good news can do for a family.

Thanks for reading,

Steve

"Lump" In The Road

Hello everyone. Most of you know by now that I have cancer. I've been diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma and fortunately for me it has a 90% cure rate. I've decided to follow the lead of a very good friend of mine by blogging my progress. This blog is so that people that I care about, who might not be able to connect with me on a daily basis, can follow the progress of my long and difficult battle. I will most likely be updating this blog weekly. Well, lets bring you up to speed....(this first entry will be much longer than most).

Last Sunday (7/18/10), while showering, I found a lump in my armpit. I immediately knew that it was not normal, as it was the size of half a baseball. It didn't hurt and it wasn't hard. I called Meg in to look at it and we decided to monitor and call the doctor Monday. I called the doctor first thing Monday morning and they were very flexible in scheduling me right away at 10:30 that morning. My doctor didn't really know what it was, other than to say that it was a mass and that I have lymph nodes in that area. He didn't show too much concern to me, but he wanted me to get an MRI that afternoon. I've never had an MRI and I gotta say, it was interesting. An MRI is not for claustrophobic. I was strapped down, unable to move, it was louder than a jack hammer next to my ears, and it took a half hour. They did put large headphones on me and I got to enjoy sports radio. Actually it wasn't that bad, I dosed off a few times.

That night we missed 3 calls from my family doctor, and he even called Meg's work number. The next morning we finally connected with the doctor and he told me that the MRI showed that the mass had spread and was now up near my clavicle. I immediately put my hand up on my collar bone and felt the bump. This one was a little flatter and harder, but I could feel it and it had already become visible. He wanted me to get a biopsy immediately, which we scheduled that day at 2pm. What he didn't tell me, is that he had called his Oncologist friend, the specialist that he would later refer me to, and they discussed the MRI. He still didn't really tell me much about what it was or what it could be.

Meg went with me to the biopsy and I think we were both a little nervous. Unfortunately they didn't allow Meg back there with me. There were four hospital people in the room with me: A nurse, a techi to run the ultrasound, the doctor, and a Pathologist. Via the ultrasound, they found the mass they would sample from and then the doctor eventually took 7 needle samples from under my armpit. The first four were for a "fine needle aspiration biopsy", and that was fairly painless. The last three were part of a "core biopsy." It was at this point he asked me if I knew why I was here? I told him all I knew was that I had a mass. He told me that he studied my MRI and after looking at the samples, he was almost certain that it was Lymphoma and that given my age, most likely Hodgkin Lymphoma. Those terms didn't mean a whole lot to me....he didn't mention the "C" word and I wasn't really up to speed on my disease terms. I knew it wasn't good, but I never really put two and two together. Maybe I was just too nervous. He then said some words that I'll never forget for the rest of my life: "I'm really sorry you had to find out like this." With those words I knew I was in trouble. I still didn't probe, I just let him prep for the Core Biopsy. The needle was much bigger, but actually the first two were fairly painless, but the third and final sample hurt pretty bad, bad enough that I actually said the words, "wow, that one hurt." To date, it's the most painful part of the week. The pain only lasted 3 seconds, but it still hurt. He told me the results would be available in two days, they cleaned me up and I was out.

I grabbed Meg and we headed for the car. I told her what they said and I think we may have guessed cancer at that point, can't remember. Anyway, we got in the car, pulled out my iphone, googled Hodgkin Lymphoma......and quickly found out that I indeed had Cancer. We also kept reading the wikidpedia definition and found out about it's high curable rate. This moment was pretty unexplainable. Shock, disbelief and sadness were overwhelming us. At this moment I was very glad that my wife was there with me. We chatted for about a minute, then started the car, and drove to the other side of the hospital where Meg had her Kenzie appointment. At this point I was starting to tear up and was thinking about staying in the car while Meg met with her OBGYN. I changed my mind and went in with her. Sitting in the waiting room having just found out I have cancer was a little surreal. I almost started tearing up a couple of times, so I tried to think of other things. It was hard. There were others in the room and it made it difficult to show emotions. After about 15 minutes, Meg came back out an we started our long trek home. My parents had come over to our house to watch Riley (who was home sick that day) and they were waiting nervously to hear what was going on. I made it about 3 exits on I-5 before I completely broke down. I quickly took the next exit, found a spot and pulled into a parking lot and just cried for 20 minutes. I just couldn't hold it back at that point. I had so many thoughts running through my head. I was thinking about Meg, I was thinking about Riley and soon to be born Kenzie, I was thinking about how difficult it's going to be to walk into our house and tell my parents I have cancer, I was thinking about how heck I'm going to tell my brother....man, all these thoughts! Meg drove home from there as I continued to struggle. Luckily my parents and Riley were inside because had they been outside when we got home, I'm not sure I could've gotten out of the car. I walked in the house tried to make it to the living room, but my legs wouldn't walk anymore. I kneeled down and started to cry as my mom walked around the corner and I mentioned the word cancer and just hugged her and started crying harder. My dad came around and we hugged. Riley came running while yelling daddy daddy, happy as can be....I just grabbed him, gave him a big hug and told him I loved him. He really just wanted to go outside at that point :) That was hardest part of the whole week. Yeah, I've cried and I've broke down a number of times after that, but telling your mom and dad that you have cancer at that age of 34.....I wish that on nobody. My brother had been calling a couple of times since the appointment had started, but I couldn't grab the strength to call him, and so I had Meg call and break the news. My parents stuck around for an hour or two, my aunt Holly lovingly stopped by to see me, which was nice. My brother came over with Gavin later that night, which was great. It wasn't difficult seeing my brother, probably tougher for him. I've noticed, that telling people for the first time verbally or in person, is the hardest thing I've had to do. But once they already know, that cat's out of the bag, it's not hard at all. So Eric and I just chatted away for an hour or two.

The next night, Meg and I got a call from my family doctor and he said that the preliminary report was in and I indeed had Lymphoma, but the report from the Core Biopsy was not in and that would determine whether or not it was Hodgkin's. But, the preliminary report clearly stated that they are fairly certain given my age that it will be Hodgkin's. This just confirmed what we already knew, so this news didn't shake me at all. No news on Thursday, but on Friday I received a call from the specialist's office (the Oncologist) and they had received the final report from my family doctors office and were ready to have me come in for a consultation.

Friday afternoon we met with Dr. Yee, who is associated with OHSU. He didn't beat around the bush, gave it to me straight and wanted to get a plan going right away. He had a pretty good idea of what stage I was in, but of course needed further testing to confirm. My symptoms were few, but the bumps (now a 3rd one on my neck) and the rate at which they are growing is slightly alarming to him. He believes that I'm currently in "bulky stage 2." The next step to confirm the stage I'm in, thus determining my treatment plan, is a PET scan and Bone Marrow Biopsy. We did the Bone Marrow Biopsy right then and there. This made me nervous because I had heard years ago that drawing bone marrow was very painful. I asked Dr. Yee if it would be painful and he said "yes!"......Great, lets do it :) They shot me up with Morphine and used Litocaine to numb the skin and bone surface. Meg was in the room, which was nice. I was laying on my stomach and they got started and it was interesting to say the least. Dr. Yee literally stuck a needle in my hip bone, breaking through the bone and drew out the marrow....which was a little painful, but only last 10 seconds. The next phase was taking a core sample of the bone. This is where they use a needle the size of a small tree, and I think maybe go in the bone horizontally, because the sample was over a half inch long. Imagine taking a post hole digger, going into the hole and coming up with dirt. Only this was the part of the bone slightly under the hard surface of the bone, the spongy part, I think. This took two different attempts because it's a fairly violent procedure and it's hard to get the core sample to stay in the needle when taking the needle out. The doctor was putting so much pressure on my back that I could feel my stomach and mid section going through the cushioned table I was on. It felt like he was hammering on the needle and once he felt he had the core sample he had to jiggle the needle back and forth creating a "earthquake" inside my body, literally wrenching on my body trying to get this tree like needle out of my hip bone and out of my body.....all while trying to keep the core sample in the needle. It was crazy to say the least. He joked about having done this procedure so many times that his right arm is ten times stronger than his left. The Bone Marrow Biopsy results are due on Tuesday and the PET Scan is scheduled for Monday and these results might be immediate. Unless they come back with better results than expected, the doctor plans an aggressive Chemotherapy treatment.

Ok, so on to the treatment....Chemotherapy. So with an aggressive chemo plan I will be scheduled to have it this Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Then Once the following week and off for 10 days. These are administered in a three week cycle. So after the 10 day rest I will begin again with three treatments in a row and so on. Dr. Yee has prepared us that this will be a six month process. The aggressive approach has it's risks. I have a higher chance of infection, due to a weaker immune system, and this can be deadly. It's a 5% chance of infection vs a 1% chance of infection should we take the less aggressive Chemo route of once every other week. I'm not too worried, 5% is still pretty low.

Well there you go. This has been my life over the last seven days. A roller coaster ride to say the least. Talk to ya next week.